The good the bad and the ugly

Overall things are going just fine. Working at a major medical center always puts things into perspective. I have two healthy horses, I have a job, I'm getting around in my own two feel. However, if I didn't admit to a bit of a pity party I would be lying. 

I went back to work earlier than is recommended for nurses and it sucked. My surgical hip just wasn't ready for running around yet. My wonderful boss thankfully let me have more time off and ease back into things at 8 hours. My nrcg shift back was tiring but soooo much better. And compared to pre surgery it was heaven. My non surgical hip had been bugging me on and off but was getting better every day. My surgeon said the non op hip often got better at 12 weeks and sure enough it was getting better. Then this happened: 

I was coming home down a little access road between te St. John's bridges and a highway. It was a three lane narrow road. Two lanes were going up the hill to get on the bridge. My narrow one lane was going against traffic and cruising at speed limit. Two lanes going onto bridge were stop and go. Out of nowhere some asshat decided he didn't want to wait and tried to flip a u turn into my lane. I didn't even have time to stop. I t boned him at full speed. I was awake for a second after the accident then passed out. Came in an out of consciousness and finally crawled out of my car. I left in an ambulance. 

In the grand scheme of things I am fine. I see people at work with traumatic head injuries from car accidents, broken bones, paralysis, trach tubes, permanent vegative state.... With that in mind I am so grateful. I had my seat belt on and ha an airbag. At the same time things have been rough since the accident. I had a head injury so I didn't work for a few weeks. I still have headaches, ringing in my ears, and can't find words. It's so weird. I feel 100% as far as my nursing skills and reasoning but I can't articulate as well as I used to. I can see fancy words in my head but can't say them. It's  getting better but makes life tedious. 

The hip that was getting back to normal is worse. It's worse than the it was on the crappiest day before my accident. My whole left leg is a hot mess. My calf felt like I had torn something initially and limping had my foot angry. I don't know if I braced it funky in the accident or what. My massage therapist has been a blessing. 

I have hardly done anything with Dickie. Often my Dickie time consists of me giving him kisses in the stall then leaving. 

The good thing is the hip I had surgery on is AMAZING!! I never knew I could feel this good. I won't hesitate to do the other hip. I have an MRI on NYE. I won't be able to get surgery until I have more Fmla but it will help to know I have a diagnosis and a goal to shoot for. I am going down to .75 at work. That sucks but it's either that or break down so bad I can't work at all. 

I'm hoping to start up water aerobics after the new year. I just haven't been able to get organized enough to do it yet. I have ridden super lightly. Just walking around. Currently all the prep to riding is what keeps me out of the saddle. Catching the doofus, putting boots on, lifting the saddle, picking feet out.... That's worse than being in the saddle. 

So here's to 2015. It can't help but be better!!!!!