Good Things and Bad Things

Hi everyone. I will probably be scarce on blogging for a few months. My mom and step dad died last Monday so I'm busy prepping a house with five acres and big barn to sell. There isn't much time for ponies and you wouldn't want to hear about what I'm doing all day.  

Dickie is doing well but he decided to poke his knee and my friends have been out giving him abx and cleaning the wound. It's not bad but I get nervous with cuts over joints. He's sound and still full of piss and vinegar. 

Bre is as pretty as ever. She made it through the whole winter without a blanket. She has started to shed like crazy. I went out for some pony therapy beauty parlor time on Friday. I can't wait for her shiny summer coat. 

In happy news I've decided to foster Dickies brother once probate closes. He needs me and emotionally I need a project like this. Dickie is to the point where he isn't a project. He's a horse I can get on and go to shows but I always crave a greenie. Isn't he cute? He has the same tb father as Dickie. They are the same age. His mom looked appy but we are thinking there might be some welsh in her. The farm that dumped him in the kill pen had a welsh stud. He moves much flashier (like a welsh) than Dickie and is smaller. He's not a pony but under 15h. He's the same color as Dickie in the winter but last summer had those pretty dapples. My friend who lives near the rescue is my partner in crime for this project. She will take him for a few months and get him used to being led in and out. Then once probate closes he will come here and get some under saddle training from me. 

Stay Tuned For Giveaway

This is a big teaser. By the end of the month I am going to set up a give way for my bonnets. I actually started selling them and set up a little Facebook page. I started out adding borders onto pre made bonnets but would get so annoyed at the asymmetry that I came up with my own pattern. My learning curve has been steep. I never picked up a crochet needle before September but my various injuries mean I have way too much time on my hands. I have always been against learning how to sew but made an exception for pony bonnet ears. Making the full bonnet increased my cost a bit but the difference in quality is worth it. I have more color options and can customize fit. The yarn I found is much better than what you find in the average store bought bonnet. I took the month of January off from new orders to catch up on my local orders and plan give a way on my blog for you guys and one over on my FB page.

Here is my business page if you have anyone in need of pony hats:
www.facebook.com/Bresbonnets

The top royal bonnet is one of my first. This color combo is striking in person. The royal I am using now is brighter so the colors pop even more. 

Between the royal and this one you can see where I started making more of the bonnet so everthing was neat and tidy. 

The brown ended up with pretty pink and turquoise crystals. I hope the owner sends me photos!!

This is when I started make the bonnets from top to bottom. It is for my friend who loves turquoise and bling. 

 I wish the black photographed better. I love this yarn. It is polished so the colors are really deep. I don't think they will fade either like many of the affordable bonnets do. Sometimes I wish I wasn't selling them and could keep all the bonnets for Dickie. 

This is for my friend's gelding. I wish the burgundy didn't look so bright. It the same color as the black and silver one above. I need to make Dickie one because he has a matching pad.

Riding Guilt

I had an MRI on the "good hip" on new years eve. I have been limping around and it feels almost as bad as the other on did pre surgery. The results are what I expected. I have a tear of the labrum (rim of the socket) and breakdown of the acetabular cartilage (the part lining the socket). That means the second I can have more FMLA (July) I will be back under the knife. That leaves me wondering what to do in the meantime. 

I feel like crap 90% of the day but far as just riding goes so far I feel pretty damned good. I have major limitations but I am so grateful to be in the saddle that I am happy with anything. My neck is sore and I have numbness in hands and right leg from the accident. However, of all the things I do in a day (including sitting on my arse) being on a horse is the least painful. Getting on is tricky but there is a tall mounting block and Dickie tolerates the flailing required to keep my hips lined up correctly during the process. 

Once I am on I feel great. Dickie doesn't have much rib cage and my saddle has a really narrow twist so he isn't a strain on the old lady hips. I won't be ready to canter on him for a long time, maybe not until after surgery #2. I am reallllly careful about my surgical hip I know what kind of pain is ok and I avoid that pain. We walk a bit, trot a bit, then leave the arena for the trail. I actually feel better after a ride for a few hours. 

Here's where my guilt comes in........ I am cutting back on work due to pain, seeing multiple people to treat the car accident injuries, limping around, and planning for yet another surgery. Non-horse people have to wonder how all of that compatible with getting on a giant animal. It's impossible to explain that not all riding is created equally. And for an experienced rider what I have been doing is easier than walking to the mailbox. It just feels like people are thinking I am reckless for riding right now. Or that I am being dramatic, if I am well enough to ride a horse I am well do other things.  

I don't know what I am looking for by saying it aloud. I guess I just needed to tell someone I am being smart about my riding. That I am not one of those people who says they are injured then spends all weekend at a tennis tournament. There's my useless worry for the day. My brain always has more where that came from. 

Grateful for 2014

**Pictures of the Spotted Princelet are chronological from 2014.

2014 definitely had it's rough patches. From the crazy barn owner who decided to lock up every one's tack unless we wanted to hand over some as collateral (she decided everyone was leaving without giving notice, we weren't BTW), to the nagging back/hip issues that culminated in surgery, family illnesses, and a car accident.

 I would be lying if I didn't admit I have been in a bit of a melodramatic pity party. However, the majority of the time I just keep thinking about how lucky I am. I am lucky to have a great job that pays well. I had disability benefits to cover the first surgery and a boss who took it easy on me when I came back. 

Being unable to work let me spend time with my step dad. He's such an amazing guy and I wouldn't be what I am today without him. I am so fortunate that both my parents married amazing people. 

I have a girlfriend who took time off and waited on me after surgery. I would have gone stir crazy without her. She watched hours of really stupid tv, put my pants on for me, and brought me snacks. My step momma hauled me to PT appointments and friends checked in on my horses. 

I found a wonderful trainer who is also a friend with a heart of gold. I had months where I couldn't do much more than sit around and she put up with drive buys to watch her ride and let me tag along on horsey adventures. 

I have friends who checked on my ponies, sat around on the couch with me, and kept calling even though I am not up to doing much beyond seeing the horses and resting. 

My barn situation started out rough but I landed at paradise just before surgery sidelined me. We have been at Sherwood for seven months now and I still can't find anyone wrong. He has a giant stall (14x12+), it's bedded so deep it looks clean even in after a night, he has daily turnout (real turnout, not the "oh we turnout" then as soon as winter hits they are in everyday), he has HUGE turnout. He's so happy there I don't think he has noticed my absence. 

I am soooo thankful for Dickie. He hasn't always been easy but he's turning out to be a fine young citizen. I can hop on him after weeks of not being ridden. The most excitement I get is the occasional scoot when he spots a horse coming towards the arena. I don't need to lunge him first. He will take my crippled self on the trail in the pouring rain and wind. I might get a snort or a prance here or there but nothing that requires any skill to stay with. 

I am pretty damned lucky the way I look at it. 

Wordless Wednesday

One of my barn friends sent me these. He's a character. 

The good the bad and the ugly

Overall things are going just fine. Working at a major medical center always puts things into perspective. I have two healthy horses, I have a job, I'm getting around in my own two feel. However, if I didn't admit to a bit of a pity party I would be lying. 

I went back to work earlier than is recommended for nurses and it sucked. My surgical hip just wasn't ready for running around yet. My wonderful boss thankfully let me have more time off and ease back into things at 8 hours. My nrcg shift back was tiring but soooo much better. And compared to pre surgery it was heaven. My non surgical hip had been bugging me on and off but was getting better every day. My surgeon said the non op hip often got better at 12 weeks and sure enough it was getting better. Then this happened: 

I was coming home down a little access road between te St. John's bridges and a highway. It was a three lane narrow road. Two lanes were going up the hill to get on the bridge. My narrow one lane was going against traffic and cruising at speed limit. Two lanes going onto bridge were stop and go. Out of nowhere some asshat decided he didn't want to wait and tried to flip a u turn into my lane. I didn't even have time to stop. I t boned him at full speed. I was awake for a second after the accident then passed out. Came in an out of consciousness and finally crawled out of my car. I left in an ambulance. 

In the grand scheme of things I am fine. I see people at work with traumatic head injuries from car accidents, broken bones, paralysis, trach tubes, permanent vegative state.... With that in mind I am so grateful. I had my seat belt on and ha an airbag. At the same time things have been rough since the accident. I had a head injury so I didn't work for a few weeks. I still have headaches, ringing in my ears, and can't find words. It's so weird. I feel 100% as far as my nursing skills and reasoning but I can't articulate as well as I used to. I can see fancy words in my head but can't say them. It's  getting better but makes life tedious. 

The hip that was getting back to normal is worse. It's worse than the it was on the crappiest day before my accident. My whole left leg is a hot mess. My calf felt like I had torn something initially and limping had my foot angry. I don't know if I braced it funky in the accident or what. My massage therapist has been a blessing. 

I have hardly done anything with Dickie. Often my Dickie time consists of me giving him kisses in the stall then leaving. 

The good thing is the hip I had surgery on is AMAZING!! I never knew I could feel this good. I won't hesitate to do the other hip. I have an MRI on NYE. I won't be able to get surgery until I have more Fmla but it will help to know I have a diagnosis and a goal to shoot for. I am going down to .75 at work. That sucks but it's either that or break down so bad I can't work at all. 

I'm hoping to start up water aerobics after the new year. I just haven't been able to get organized enough to do it yet. I have ridden super lightly. Just walking around. Currently all the prep to riding is what keeps me out of the saddle. Catching the doofus, putting boots on, lifting the saddle, picking feet out.... That's worse than being in the saddle. 

So here's to 2015. It can't help but be better!!!!!

The Best Laid Plans

In true type A horse woman fashion I had a plan for how things would go after surgery. I did all the research. Talked to other patients. I knew exactly how things would go down. I decided would be in a ton of pain the first few weeks after surgery. I would use my ice machine religiously. I would use my CPM. I would do my PT as often as I was allowed. I would be a good girl and stay away from the horses until I was cleared to walk that far. There would be set backs but I was ready for those. In wouldn't be discouraged. Bad days happen. 

Surprisingly things went very different. I was barely in pain after surgery. I rated my pain a zero because compared to pre op I felt like a bionic woman. Yeah I was stiff and if I accidentally got myself in a prohibited position it hurt. But overall I was doing better than I anticipated. Much better. So much better I was giddy with excitement after over seven years of chronic pain. I might have had a sore day or two but I really didn't have anything I would consider a set back. Then I went back to work......

The surgeon hoped I would have a little more time off work but I was feeling strong and confident that I could start out with one 8 hour shift. My hip was sore right off the bat. My soft tissues are tight so I have to take a short strides. Getting up and down from chairs is a big stress too so I charted on my feet as much as I could handle. 

I woke up the next day feeling almost as sore as before surgery on my left side. SURGERY WAS ON MY RIGHT SIDE. Now I'm having the same type of pain in my good hip. I had to take another two weeks off work and have been in pity party mode. For about a week I was in too much pain to drive or even walk. I scaled my pt back to the exercises I was doing right after surgery. I'm starting to feel a little better but resting the new bad hip has meant I've lost ground with my surgical hip. The surgeon said it can take three months for the other hip to recover from doing double duty. My surgery was Sept 4th so I have a little ways for that milestone. Until then I'll try to keep my chin up and avoid panicking that I need surgery on the other hip.